Gerabak

Awan biru menenangkan.. :)

Tulisan ni ditulis sambil mata ku kuyu menahan ngantuk, hari ni rasa letih sebab travel. Hehe.. anyway letih terubat bila urusan telah selesai.. gitthew. :D Travel seorang diri itu sudah menjadi kebiasaan buat seorang yang bernama Syim. Tipu lah kalau aku cakap aku tak takut. Naik LRT, monorel githhew. Siapa tak takut and rasa inseceure weii? Di kota raya yang penuh dengan ragam manusia ni, takut jalan sorang tu selalu tapi hati perlu kuat bila ada urusan yang perlu diuruskan. Bila keadaan mendesak untuk seorang Syim harus travel seorang diri, begitulah yang harus dilakukannya.


Anyway, semua orang lain-lain cabaran yang dilalui dan aku sebagai seorang perantau di negeri orang harus begini, survive walau apa pun yang berlaku. Begitulah juga seorang daie, walau dia dicampak ke mana sekalipun, walau dicampak di tempat yang tiada gerak dakwah dan tarbiyahnya, mampu mengibarkan sayapnya. Mampu berdikari mampu menjaga diri.

Dan ulang suara, dakwah bukan untuk orang yang manja. Bukan disediakan dengan karpet merah. Dan ulang suara, selangkah kamu memilih jalan ini, menjadi diri sendiri itu seringkali bukanlah pilihan yang seharusnya. Dakwah dan tarbiyah memerlukan anda berkomunikasi dengan masyarakat sekeliling dan tidak boleh tidak akhlakmu diperhatikan juga mencerminkan apa yang kamu percaya serta apa yang kamu bawa. Bahkan, ramai je yang gugur dari gerabak keretapi ini hanya kerana mengikut keinginannya yang tidak terbendung. Ya, mehnah dan gejolak duri itu lah yang menghiasi jalan ini.

Sang daie itu meski tetap dalam gerabak, juga diketuk lalu jatuh kerana terpesona dengan jalan yang satu lagi. Dia jadi tidak keruan kerana keinginan pada jalan yang satu lagi ternyata benar menggamit jiwanya untuk memilih ke sana. Bahkan dia pernah jatuh sehinggakan bangun itu memerlukan tangis dan kekuatan yang luar biasa perlunya. Semua ini selalu terjadi, tatkala kamu perlu memilih antara keinginan diri atau keinginan untuk berada di jalan dakwah ini.



Mari tanyakan kembali diri masing-masing, tidak mahu kah kamu menyambung rantai dakwah ini? 

Kuala Lumpur

Rindu Labuan :')

Matang

Matang?

Bila masa kita matang?

Kematangan mungkin sahaja tidak diukur dengan pembaris sendiri,

Kematangan mungkin sahaja diukur dengan pengalaman,

Kematangan mungkin juga diukur dengan cara kita melihat sesuatu,

Kematangan malah mungkin lebih disedari oleh orang sekeliling kita.

Tapi. 

Masih.

Ermm..

Ya..

Tapi masih tak tahu diri ini sudah matang kah?

Atau masih lagi bermain dengan emosi, 

Atau keperluan.

Maaf,

Maka cara melihat sesuatu semakin berbeza,

Mereka kata pemikiran semakin kritis,

Mereka kata fikiran lebih menjauh melihat ke hadapan,

Erm..

Harus pada siapa maaf diberi?

Cara melihat berubah setelah bangun dari lena yang panjang,

pada pintu sejarah kita, pada peranan kita, pada ghuzwatul fikr kita, pada kesedaran syahadatul haq kita dan seterusnya semakin besar pintu yang kita jumpai,

Ya,

Baru kamu terbangun tersedak tersentap terkesima tersipu malu terkilan sebab tertipu,

kerana ternyata jauh benar kita dari kegemilangan islam yang dulu.

Kuala Lumpur

Aku mahu jadi mereka yang terbangun dari tidur itu... in shaa Allah.

Bayangan Robot

Penat. Bukan fizikalnya tapi fikiran mindanya sedang berkecamuk mungkin. Ke mana sahaja jasad ini pergi pasti sekali dengan rohnya seperti bayang yang sentiasa mengekori tuannya. Maha Suci Allah yang menciptakan bayang tidak statik di suatu tempat tapi berubah arah mengikut mata matahari. Maha Suci Allah yang menciptakan bayang tidak tertinggal di belakang saat kau melangkah ke depan.. setia dengan tuannya. Ke mana sahaja ya bayang itu mengekori mu.

Perhatikan bayang itu. Bayang itu sejak kecil lagi sentiasa setia bersama. Saat mendapat nikmat-Nya berupa kegembiraan, kelapangan dan ketenangan cukup menenteramkan jiwa. Tapi kita lupa, bayang ini juga ada bersama saat kita berlaku zalim, zalim terhadap diri sendiri dengan berbuat maksiat kepada Nya, bahkan mungkin tidak sengaja mahupun sengaja menjauhkan diri daripada Allah. Astaghfirullah. Hanya bayangan tapi boleh jadi teguran buat diri.

Suatu hari nanti roh ini pasti akan meninggalkan jasadnya. Adakah kita sudah sedia dengan itu semua? Hanya jadi pemerhati sahaja tidak cukup jika akal yang dikurniakan hanya diperam untuk kebaikan diri sendiri. Mahukah kamu jadi manusia robot? Robot sentiasa melakukan hal yang sama kerana telah di set kan sekian sekian dan kemudian bila hilang tenaga, lantas mencari plug untuk mengembalikan tenaganya. Bila dah dapat tenaga, kembali buat kerja yang sama berulang-ulang.

Begitulah seharian masa berlalu sama sahaja. Bangun pagi, keluar rumah, balik ke rumah, malam pun datang, tidur.. esoknya bangun pagi, keluar rumah, balik ke rumah, malam pun datang, tidur.. seterusnya esok pun datang bangun pagi, keluar rumah, balik ke rumah, malam pun datang, tidur dan berlarutan sehingga nanti bertemu Allah. Hidup ini ada tujuannya.. (sila rujuk Terjemahan Al-Quran 2:30, 51:56).

Sekadar itu sahaja kah kitaran seorang manusia? Sudah tenat mungkin, kita selalu disajikan dengan perang pemikiran. Apakah kita menang dalam perang pemikiran zaman ini? Sungguh, 'mereka' terlalu gigih berusaha memisahkan kita dengan Al-Quran. Apakah kita sedar? Atau sekadar seperti robot itu?

Kuala Lumpur.

rindu jaulah reramai cam ni.. :)

Survive

fefeeling dah besar sebab beli barang dapur sendiri.. hehe.
when you are alone, your survival mode is automatically ON. 

and tonight she sleeps with the light on,

She is alone,

She is afraid,

She have to stay focus to her surrounding,

She prepare everything beside her,

Weapon, materials to survive this.

She sleep but she has to be alert,

She is insecure,

Who else can help her,

The only hope left is Allah,

Yes when you are afraid,

Just remember Him.

Pray.

Kuala Lumpur

Hanya Biasa

[credit]

kerana dakwah itu memerlukan cinta,

maka ia memerlukan segalanya daripada kamu,

jiwa, masa, harta, dan sebagainya jadi harga yang perlu dibayar,

kerana akhirnya suatu hari kelak kita akan bertemu dengan-Nya,

apakah syurga atau neraka?

Hari perhitungan amal,

apakah kamu yakin kitab amalmu diserahkan dengan tangan kanan?

atau tangan kiri mahupun daripada belakang?

atau dibaling sahaja?

Astaghfirullah..

manusia bisa sahaja melihat kita bagus,

sedang ternyata Allah yang menyembunyikan aib kita,

malulah kamu,

malulah dengan Allah yang Maha Mengetahui,

kamu yakin kamu meletakkan Allah yang pertama dalam hidupmu?

Sakit hati? Sentap?

maka bagaimana jika kasutmu kotor?

andai tidak disental dengan kuat mana nak hilang kotornya,

sekadar menyampaikan,

mari sama muhasabah.

Kuala Lumpur

Are You a Good Murobbi?

Tonight just like the other night, I am the one who always sleep late at night. Somehow, I think this environment comfort me, no noise from my surrounding so I can focus on my writing and whats inside my head. I am not the one who is good to spread the words but I still wanna try it, Rasulullah SAW said "convey from me even if it is one words." sort like that. I hope I can, I wish I can. I am somebody who is still learning, I am not perfect. Waiting to be perfect then how will the 'words' spread to the universe.

I just came back from murobbi gathering in my place, my ex-murobbi kak Fiz drove me from Plaza Rah to Setiawangsa to the place of gathering. Along the way, I caught something in her, she has changed, a lot. I can see the difference from the first time I saw her when she was single few years ago in this UKM KL. Yes indeed, maturity comes with experience. Situations teach someone to change. We can choose either we want to change for the better or worst. Anything happen to us now, just remember that it is not a coincidence, they all come to your life to teach you lessons learn. To test you, are you strong enough to protect your imaan? Your deen? Your principles? Your believe in Allah? In Islam?


Furthermore, it was a long conversations I must said. Most of the topics we discuss is a serious thing, an adult life challenge and for the obstacles throughout the journey to be a better muslimah, a better servant of Allah in His eyes. Challenge, it may gives you something you want but its not necessary for you right now, it may gives you something that you have to ponder maybe the fault is you of not practicing Islam holistically (syumul) of not turning to Allah whenever possible, it may also makes you to run away from the challenge and doing nothing. Allah.. guide me to the right path. When you are stuck. Just come back to Allah. He is the one who create this for us, to test us.

Slot 1 Menjiwai Erti Seorang Murobbi

Then I arrived to the place and the daurah has started already. The following words after this may not suitable to everyone however I still want to write it down. You don't understand, ask me? I may help you or may make you more confused haha. Anyway I must said that its my life and I face this things. This blog perhaps can be a story of my life. Ye?


After all, it was a very meaningful and useful daurah for me to understand better as a murobbi to my mutarobbi and as a mutarobbi to my murobbi. Ermm.. do you alls understand this? Never mind, later you alls can try google google ye? Sometimes, the problems is more on murobbi than mutarobbi. Actually, is the murobbi want it or don't want it? When the determination is there, at last there will be no excuse. If we are a good murobbi, we can easily detect the changes in our mutarobbi. The question is, are we a good murobbi?


The next slot, Slot 2 is a discussion, then go back home. New year, I can say the responsibilities has become bigger and thus require more commitments than previous. Moga Allah redha.


p/s: ayat english berterabur haha.


Kuala Lumpur.

Family

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It has been few days past since my last entry and it has been a hectic days I must said because I have got my final exam and also Objective Structured Clinical Examination (OSCE) last few days ago. What I have to do now is tawakal and doa for everything is in Allah's hand. He have the power to give or not give or postpone anything that we want in this life. I should always remember that, always.

All and all, homesick strike me now like very badly. I wish that I can go back to my hometown as soon as possible for I miss my family, I miss my cats, I miss the air of Sarawak. I am born at Bintulu, an oil town with beautiful scenery at the beach I must said regardless of the sea colour becoming sort like river colour. However, I love to walk barefoot at the beach at early morning just after the dawn and let the storm strike my feet while I step on the sand. My dad will sit not far from me so as to make sure I am okay and to make sure that it is all safe. I know he love me, my dad. Heh.

Well, if you ask 'what is my race?' I am a mix-blood born baby, half Melayu half Melanau and that makes who I am today. Speaking Melanau language and speaking Melayu-Sarawak fluently makes my housemate curious to know about me more... haha. But thats fine, thats good..hehe. Anyway, hmmm... I miss Brunei as well, ermm maybe I should grab the chance during my sem break to go to Brunei too and meet my family there. Travel. Hmm, maybe. Hehe.

Okay, I think I talk about me too much. But I miss my family. What to do? Of course, I call them daily, if not daily every two-to-days, if I am not the one who call they will call me, but that's not the same when I have got the chance to see them and be with them. Sad and happy is a usual things in a family life. Stick together till the end of my life I must said, the one that will accept who you are regardless of the bad things that you do to them or people around you. In the end, they always there for you. 

Kuala Lumpur

Nangis

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Nak nangis memikirkan research yang aku kena siapkan tahun ni,

Bukan nangis sebab tak suka,

Tapi sebab takut tak siap atau tak boleh tahan dengan cabaran yang mendatang,

sebab takut aku tak mampu nak bahagikan masa dengan baik.

Betullah final year is a year of challenge, happiness, tears, sacrifices and etc..

gitthew.

That is soo me,

Afraid of what coming next when the things has not yet to come,

Is it something good?

No, it’s not,

Being positive is good,

Always husnuzhon dengan Allah,

We do have plan, but Allah's plan is better than our plan.

Kuala Lumpur

Bacalah

hasil contengan kami satu course tempoh hari masa bengkel. takde kerje lain kan.. orang dengar speaker kami menconteng nak ilang rasa ngantuk.. ya lahhh? haha

Apa aku nak tulis eh untuk entri kali ni? Nak dijadikan cerita, aku sekarang tengah study week, bila cakap pasal study week maksudnya anda akan nampak seorang Syim Mohammad berkurung dalam bilik dan study. Dan anda akan melihat nota-nota seorang Syim tersusun, ehh tersusun ke? Berterabur kot di tepi-tepinya. Anda akan melihat dia keluar dari bilik hanya untuk makan dan juga bersosial dengan housemate, gitthew. Mentang-mentang toilet kat dalam bilik sekali, haha. Kadang ada pulak dalam kalangan housemate masuk keluar masuk keluar bilik ni nak menyembang, nak mengacau, nak mengusik benda entah apa-apa, nak menyakat semua ada. Yang penting, I love them alls. Alah aku pun suka gak kacau diorang, haha.

Study week pun study week. Semalam aku baru dapat buku ni, heii, lama dah tak gi bulatan gembira rasa kering kontang hati ni. Study punya study akhirnya aku ketepikan semua nota dan tarik buku ni untuk dibaca, hehe.. XD Dah lama kot tak baca buku ni sejak dari form 5 tempoh hari. Eh sorry ye wahai semua sang pembaca blog ni aku tulis bahasa melayu pulak kali ni, malas nak tulis english pulak sebab aku pening. Pening sebab fikir esok, lusa dan tulat in shaa Allah aku ada exam. Hoho.. masalahnya sempat lagi nak ber-blog. (Ada aku kisah?)

nah,.. ni dia buku yang aku baru beli semalam.. Therbaikkk! Dulu tak memiliki cuma meminjam je buku ni, skang dah ada di tangan. Alhamdulillah.. biarlah duit ilang beli buku2 gini.. hehe.

Pointnye skang ni, jangan lupe study benda akhirat jugak bila study benda dunia ni. Tapi in shaa Allah belajar benda dunia pun boleh jadi benda akhirat jugak bila ilmu yang kita dapat tu kita gunakan niat kerana Allah, untuk bantu Allah, untuk bantu orang yang memerlukan ilmu yang kita belajar tu. Hikhik.

Erm,. bacalah. Bacalah. Tetiba rasa malu, nama je umat Muhammad SAW tapi tak suka membaca? Hmm.. ingat tak wahyu Rasulullah SAW yang pertama tu content-nya suruh membaca, bacalah. Sehingga Jibril memeluk Rasulullah SAW ketat-ketat dan beritahu bacalah, Rasulullah SAW rasa takut lalu lari dari gua tu dan balik ke rumah mintak isteri dia Khadijah selimutkan dia. Ada lagi panjang ceritanya tapi malas nak tulis panjang-panjang sangat sebab ingat nak spend masa kejap je tulis entry ni. Huhu... 

semalam serumah gi food hunting kat kampung baru.. HR ramai sangat orang so akhirnya makanlah di restorang kapal ni. Okaylah makanan dia.. :D

Nak dipendekkan cerita haa nampak tak? Betapa wahyu pertama Rasulullah SAW suruh kita membaca tau. Tapi kita ni ehem, tak yah cakap lah. Baca pun buku yang macam mana? Buku yang membina iman dan jiwa? Buku yang releks muhasabah? Buku cerita pedoman? Novel? NOvel tu kisah pasal apa? Semua kena ambik kira, sebab apa yang dibaca akan mencerminkan pandangan dan juga mungkin perspektif kita kepada sesuatu. Kena hati-hati kot nak pilih bahan bacaan. Kann?

Kita skang ni setahun mungkin satu dua buku pun tak baca, baca pun mungkin tak habis. gitthew. Okay, rasa malu. Ok, aku nak sambung study aku. Doakan aku dapat jawab exam dengan jayanya, okay? In shaa Allah boleh.

Kuala Lumpur

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313 Not Just a Number

promo ke ape ni? haha

And today, my followers had reached 313 peoples. What could I imagine by that numbers? But yet deep inside something bothering me when I see that numbers. Numbers 313 may just a number to some people perhaps when I see it at the first glance; I think it’s just a numbers and not more than that. Numbers 313 does are numbers but do you remember that history of 313 soldiers of Islam in the battle of Badar?

What I can say is that nothing to be proud of when the numbers of followers are bigger than the numbers of following. Even though not all of the followers are our friends, but they have eyes, right? Our pictures are portrays in their instagram’s newsfeed perhaps they might stalking us or if not stalking, judging based on our photos.

313 soldiers of Islam fight against nearly thousands of the opponents of Islam and we win. 313 soldiers of Islam with good deen, good attachment to Allah and Rasul and I suddenly start to think, what contributions do I give to Islam until today? The numbers are indeed small but don’t ever underestimate their spirits to fight against the enemy. They have that spirit to contribute to Islam, the way of life.

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Somehow, that 313 of my followers, do I have done enough to portray the beauty of Islam through my instagram’s photos? What questions do I get in the akhiraah if I happened not to be able to portray the beauty of Islam? The beauty of dakwah and tarbiyah? If you asked me whether I am scared to write this entry yes I am scared. However, it is indeed weird of today and I find it too, in me. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me or you as well, the readers of this blog? Nowadays in our era, we are shy of our islam and our practice in islam and they are proud of their disbelieve.

“I fear the day when the disbelievers are proud of their falsehood, and the Muslims are shy of their faith.” Umar ibn Khattab (RA)

Have we done enough? Have we contributed to Islam up until today? I am 23 but what have I tried to give to Islam? Do you remember Muhammad Al-Fateh in his young ages of 21, he managed to conquer Constantinople? Do you remember Usamah Zaid in his young ages of 18, he leads the soldiers to fight against Rom? Do you remember Hassan al-Banna in his young ages of 22, he managed to build Ikhwanul Muslimin? There are a lot more history of the youngers who contributed to Islam long time ago. Who are we today?

If not, have we done enough to practice Islam in our daily activities? Have we done enough to practice Islam in our hearts? Have we done enough to practice Islam in our mind in our actions? Sigh. Heavy sigh. Ashame. This few questions really struck my day when I see the numbers of 313.

Kuala Lumpur.

[credit] Tepuk dada tanya iman.

Always a Traveller

and I..

I always love to travel..

from Sarawak to Sabah to Labuan to Brunei to Sememanjung Utara Selatan Timur Barat..

what is the next destinations?

Tadaaa... in shaa Allah if Allah will it. :)

Travel so that you can open your mind open your eyes,

Travel so that you can meet peoples of different level and background and personality,

Travel so that you gain experience and knowledge to empower your sense of togetherness perhaps humanity,

Travel so that you learn better and take the lessons for every things on dunya or akhiraah made by Him so all what you have been through has been written by Allah,

so you can make the reflections the muhasabah.

Verily in the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the alternation of night and day - there are indeed signs for men of understanding; Men who remember Allah, standing, sitting, and lying down on their sides, and contemplate the creation of the heavens and the earth (with the thought) "Our Lord! Not for nothing have You created (all) this. Glory to You! Give us salvation from the suffering of the Fire. 

[3:190-191]

Travel is the best education,

You see the world through another lens,

You realize your homeland isn't the only reality, there's many,

Travel so you got the chance to try, do mistakes and be a better person, 

better servant of Allah in shaa Allah.

Say: Travel through the earth and see how Allah originated creation; so will Allah produce the second creation (of the Afterlife): for Allah has power over all things. 

[29:20]

....Say: Are those equal, those who know and those who do not know? It is those who are endued with understanding that remember (Allah's Message). 

[39:9]

Kuala Lumpur.

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Emptiness

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Ever feeling like empty, emptiness especially in your heart? And even if you tried so hard to relief your feeling of emptiness, you tried to listen for a nice songs, watch good movies, talk to your family and friends but yet you failed to content your heart. And you start to ponder on what happen and what was? Was you in a right path? Was you in a right doers?

Its like you walk in a room full of people you are close to and you try to speak to them desperately but they seems to ignore you, neglect you or even not even noticed when you are there. Sigh. Heavy sigh. And then you stand there doing nothing, you try to listen to your heart but still there are some whispering suggesting you of not to bother about the emptiness in your heart. Insisting that you are okay when you are not. Insisting that you continue to harm your heart by the emptiness.

Maybe this is what happen if we are too attached to the peoples and not placing Allah at the first place. Who are you? And who are there? You and them is just one of his masterpiece in this universe made by Him. After all, the one who created it is the most powerful, the one that we can depends with. Not them in that room full of people we are close to. After all, the emptiness rely in your attachment to Allah, to Allah's will, to Allah's because we are His servant.

Emptiness. Happen. Happened. Because we leave Him far away from us. Cure it with zikr, do things that He likes and leave does that He don't likes. Its not that easy and it does need your determination, your principles, your reflections. Please, please open our glass of dunya then we may see thing differently. Protect Him then He will protect you and your deen.

Kuala Lumpur.